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25 Nov

Who Says I Cannot Be Lazy

Ed, my old neighbor from Saskatchewan, phoned yesterday when I was taking a day off. Sometimes it is okay to be lazy. Even, Ed realized I had a duty to watch the old western, ‘Gunsmoke,’ on television since he is a western fan himself. Watching a DYI program on remodeling an old house, made me tired because of all the work they did in renewing the old house. I could have gone for a workout at the gym, but I had a flu shot, and I did not want put stress on my vaccinated arm. My old neighbor does not realize how busy and demanding retirement can become. I informed Ed that taking a lazy day off is an essential element of being retired.

“Wake up and be alert since I have called you,” Ed ordered. “Being lazy and zoned out on television is alright when you don’t have me to talk to, but now that I have called you, it is time for you to become alert and focused,” he continued.

Trash Talk

25 Nov

More Trash Talk Than Before A Professional Wrestling Match

Ed, my old neighbor from Saskatchewan, and I, had a chat about the American election. Ed phoned me two days after election day. He was proud of himself as he had predicted last New Year’s Eve that Donald Trump would win in the November election in the USA. My old neighbor did admit that it was a long campaign of trash talk between the candidates. “Professional wrestlers are good at trash talk towards an opponent, but Donald and Hilary put them to shame,” Ed observed.

I found out Ed is already lining up his predictions for 2017. He promised me that he would send me a copy of his prophecy at New Years so that I can be prepared for the coming year. I told him that I still haven’t got my mind around the new president. I don’t want to hear any more of Ed’s forecasting. I would rather not know what will happen until after the fact. Ed is certain border walls will be built, but I refuse to deal with that thought right now.


13 Nov

No Division of Household Labor for the Good of All Husbands

Ed, my old neighbor from Saskatchewan, was still cranky from a bought of the flu and cold yesterday. Thankfully, his cold and flu had gone away, but not all, of his grumpiness, had disappeared. Miserableness left a fair-sized mark on Ed, like a wet towel on wood. Ruby, Ed’s wife, described him as in recovery but prone to fits of temper.

I understand being subject to fits of the temper myself, but they are better to give than to receive. When Ed phoned yesterday, I was slow in getting the phone answered because I was vacuuming. “What took you so long?” demanded Ed. “I was vacuuming,” I explained a bit aggravated at his tone of voice. “Why are you vacuuming?” he demanded again like I owed him an explanation. “Why do you need to know” I answered in a voice losing it friendliness. Then I added, “It’s my job.” “It’s your wife’s job,” he snapped like I should know that. “There is a division of labor in a marriage and husbands’ do not do housework, especially vacuuming,” he said like I was as dumb as dirt. “It sets a bad example for other men everywhere,” he added as though nothing more needed to said on the subject.


4 Nov

Things May Look Better Turned Inside-Out or Upside-Down

Ed, my old neighbor from Saskatchewan, was so unhappy about missing Halloween because of his cold and flu that it seemed like nothing would lighten him up. Ruby had told me before she put Ed on the phone, “You need to butter him up with encouragement. He can’t stand being sick and missing the fun of Halloween has him acting like he sold the farm and is doomed. The flu has hung on for more than two weeks, and he is as touchy as a skunk.”

When Ed came on the phone, I got an earful, “I still have this miserable flu and cold. I should be over it by now. I’m stuck at home, and the wife is threatening to let me suffer alone. Nobody cares about you when you’re sick. I went for coffee at the restaurant one morning, and my coffee buddies moved to another table just because I coughed a couple of time. They nick-named me, Typhoid Ed. There is no one to give you encouragement when you’re sick.”


4 Nov

Could Being Too Sick To Talk, Be Healing To Others

I knew that my old neighbor from Saskatchewan must have been sick when I did not hear from him. Ruby, Ed’s wife, answered the phone when I called Melville to check on Ed. She had taken a day off work to take care of Ed. She assured me that Ed’s flu and cold were not life threatening even if Ed was convinced he had a foot in his grave.

Ruby said on the phone; “I’m not home sick, but home sick of taking care of a sixty-one-year-old baby. I will be glad to let you talk to Ed just be prepared for whining like a three-year-old. All men are pathetic when they are sick.” The way Ruby spoke suggested to me that she was cranky.


22 Oct

No One Of Them Was Like The Other

Ed, my old neighbor from Saskatchewan, is not a person to worry about details. I told him repeatedly that we were going to Ontario to attend a wedding in the wife’s family. I made it clear we would be gone seven days, but it was all lost on him. He called three times last week and was huffy that we didn’t answer the phone. My old neighbor informed me that I could have, at least, left a cell phone number that he could have reached me at during the time I was away. I told him that it proves that only when you are away do people want to contact you.

I told Ed it was his turn to hear about my grandchildren for a change, as we had a family reunion in Ontario where all the grandchildren were present but one. We had the whole age range from kindergarten to high school. Not one of them was like the other, and they had a great time together, while the adults were quite nice to each other, since it was only for a couple of days.