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Low Gear

14 Nov

When Your Reality Changes, Stay Positive

“You have always had a habit of squawking about things that don’t matter,” Ed said yesterday. Everybody replaces a dead battery, doctors a sick pet if they have one, and has found an income source disappeared on them. You need to lighten up and keep smiling into a mirror until it cracks, and then get a new one and start smiling in it again.

He said that my attitude is warped by too much church attendance and prayer. He believes I have missed the truth that I’m not living in heaven, and that I am not God and cannot control what happens by praying. Life is often a pain in the butt, and I should know that by my age.

Flimsy Faith

7 Nov

Have Rock-Solid Faith That Your Team Will Win

Fan loyalty is the name of the football game for Ed, my old neighbor in Saskatchewan. Ed insists: “You cheer for your team with all the enthusiasm of a fox in a packed, hen house. The opposing team is to be ignored; their interceptions, touchdowns, and field goals are fluke luck. There are other football teams, but the Saskatchewan Roughriders are better than all the rest with or without the Grey Cup.”

Ed is faithful to the Roughriders. Their success or lack of it does not change his loyalty towards them. When they lose, he says that losing makes winning even more satisfying when it comes. Ed says that winning or losing doesn’t cost him much as a fan, it means much more to those on the playing field. Mistakes and injuries there may end a player’s career. My old neighbor wisely believes that even winning the Grey Cup does not make your team invincible, but only the best for the present season.

Grandfather Doting

31 Oct

Don’t Spoil Your Child, Wait For Your Grandchild

“It takes a lot of candy to make trick and treaters happy on a Halloween night in Edmonton,” Ed said yesterday. This year Ed was in Edmonton at his family’s home for his favorite evening of the year. He was the doorman at his son’s house giving out candy to an endless flow of trick and treaters. Ed believes that they had more than 200 children seeking candy. He had a great time even if he knew few of the kids at the door collecting their loot.

I asked Ed if the kids were being spoiled by collecting so much candy? My old neighbor replied that you cannot spoil somebody else’s kids, too much. The only kids you should not spoil are your own kids because you live with them. According to Ed, you wait for grandchildren, and then you spoil them as you please.

Forget Me Not

24 Oct

Heavens Tto Mergatroyd, (Murgatroid) I Didn’t Remember That!

I told Ed, my old neighbor, in Saskatchewan that my memory is not ‘hunky dory’ anymore. I gave a wrong answer when leading Bible Study last Sunday and was ‘hung out to dry’ with a quick correction. It was obvious that I needed to ‘straighten up and fly right’ as the leader. I felt like superman with no phone booth, to change his identity in, and it was clear as a leader I was a ‘knucklehead.’

Ed, my old neighbor, was quick to tell me that I had found myself in ‘a fine kettle of fish.’ He concluded that it was time for me to wake up and smell the coffee not roses. He warned me that at my age I need to drink a great deal of coffee to stay awake and be sharper. He recommended that I take a huge, coffee with me into my Bible Study, so I would at least seem smarter.

Snow Tires

17 Oct

Put Your Snow Tires On Before It Snows Steadily

“You fix your roof when it is not raining, and you put your snow tires on before the snow flies,” I told Ed last week.  I’m getting my snow tires put on next week, so I’m ready for the winter which will undoubtedly come our way when it wants.

I told Ed that I became acutely aware of tires last week because two males 14 and 15 went on a tire-slashing spree in the greater Vancouver area. A quiet Monday evening turned destructive when more than 100 cars parked on the streets around the 7500 block of 12 Avenue in Burnaby had tires senselessly ruined. The two slashers have been arrested and charged with mischief. That does not undo the inconvenience and expense to the car owners with destroyed tires.

Fire and Spirit

10 Oct

Potential Heat Needs The Spark Of A Piolet Light

I was telling Ed that we are a little chilly because we have a dead piolet light for our fireplace. Of course, Ed instructed me to lite the piolet light and get a fire in the fireplace. The problem is that the fireplace has a knob for the piolet light that needs to be pushed in, but it is stuck like cement refusing to move. I need to call for a serviceman of greater experience and ability than my own.

Right now, a burning candle can provide more heat and light than our gas fireplace. Ed, my old neighbor, said, “Your fireplace is like a car with a dead battery. It is just a temporary glitch so put your coat and mitts on until it is fixed.” For sure we are at the time of year when the heat in our homes is more often needed. Heat is a great necessity in our country during winter and often in the fall and the spring as well.