Why Do Happy Weddings Turn Into Miserable Marriages?
Ed, my old neighbor in Saskatchewan, wanted to hear about the wedding I officiated at yesterday. He asked, “Did the bride or groom faint? Did the groom act like he was having second thoughts?”
I told Ed, “They were young and in love. Both were confident as their wedding vows were exchanged. It was a simple service in the backyard of the groom’s grandfather’s home. A small group of relatives and friends were there to witness their marriage ceremony. It was very close to a perfect wedding, I thought, except their kiss was a little too long and passionate, but they sure enjoyed it.”
Ed had another question for me, “Was it a free bar or did people have to pay for their drinks?
“There was no bar to celebrate the marriage,” I answered. “The bride and groom announced the reception would be without alcoholic beverages on their wedding invitations.”
My old neighbor said that there was no need to change water into wine at that wedding. He added that there is no worry about running out of wine if you don’t allow any from the start. Ed insisted I answer his question, “Why do so many happy weddings turn into miserable marriages?
Of course, I insisted that he answer me, “Why do so many happy weddings become good marriages?”
I asked Ed if he had heard: “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring, or eating with chopsticks: it looks easy until you try it.” (Helen Rowland) Since Ed hadn’t heard that quote, I hit him with one more: “A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.”
I think marriage is God’s answer to our need for loving companionship. The Lord said that it was not good for us to be alone that we need a helper in life. In Ecclesiastes, God says it this way: “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one, will lift, up, his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
I was reading of Linda Wolfe of Anderson, Indiana USA who at age 68 is recognized as the world’s most married woman. She has been married 23 times so far. She is open to marrying again because she says life gets lonely.
I believe that the loving companionship God wants a couple to build in their marriage reflects His nature and will. God’s love for us never ends, and He would have us endure and bear in continual love for each other in marriage. We are to be patient and kind to each other. As spouses, we do not envy or boast; we are not arrogant or rude; we do not insist on our own way, become irritable or resentful of each other. We take no pleasure in wrongdoing but rejoice in the truth. If you want to love your mate this way, God will help you.